pillow forts and butterflies
pillow forts (the power of pretending to be real)
Over the years, being an unconnected, self-taught, outsider artist and musician, I have received a message over and over: you do not belong. But as I have shared in a few of my posts, that message led to another message: if you don’t belong, make a place to belong and invite others into it. I am finding that this “making a place to belong” is a lot like making a pillow fort.
When I was little I loved to make pillow forts and to pretend all kinds of scenarios in them. They were very real places to me. I have never stopped making pillow forts. I was going to say I have never stopped making them in a figurative sense, but two Christmases ago I made the fort below in my parents’ living room. Bless.
My figurative pillow forts are things like hosting a “tiny conference” at work*, writing and recording music, facilitating art adventures, sharing this website, and writing a discipleship workbook with my Mom. These things may at times look and feel a little bit like the fort below, but that’s ok. I don’t mind pretending I am real. It gives me permission to do things instead of just think about doing things.
The latest fort
This fort was fondly made with bed sheets, bull clips, walking sticks, and aprons.
raising butterflies (the power of sharing beauty)
There was a very lovely human being I worked with years ago who raised Monarch butterflies. Each year she provided food and shelter as they hatched, grew into voracious caterpillars, entombed themselves in chrysalises, and finally emerged as beautiful butterflies. At the right time, she would release them out into the world to live their best butterfly lives.
She could have kept the butterflies for herself. She could have created an enclosure where they pollinated her garden and where she could enjoy them. But she didn’t. She was participating in something bigger and more wonderful than just her own garden. Like many people, I like butterflies and I appreciate this particular species' process, but Jennifer? She got it, way down deep in her soul.
As I was pondering Jennifer and her butterflies, I began to feel a kinship with her process. I felt like I was fostering my own butterflies in the form of color and sound. I was making space for each to grow and change, and then I was sharing them with the world. They were little points of beauty and thoughtfulness that could perhaps pollinate the creativity, peace, or faith of another person. They could go far or they could fade. They were not mine to control, they were mine to share.
Friend, give thanks for the gifts you have and share them with us.
Make a pillow fort, literally or figuratively, and nurture and release your butterflies.
We need you, there is space for you.
*For our final keynote speech as part of a public speaking program at work, several of us rented a conference room, provided snacks, and introduced each other like we were speakers at a tiny conference. Our theme was Women in Leadership and we each wrote and gave a speech about an aspect of the theme. It was so much fun and we helped each other succeed.
